this post may ramble. i have a lot on my mind.
ever since i read crazylove, i have had a whole different attitude. about life. about people. about me.
the spirit made me do it. and i am so so so grateful.
after reading the book, i dove into my bible. and i read verses that i have read many times in a whole new way. i believe through unveiled eyes. through His eyes.
i have been existing for Him. nice, but not enough. i realize that what He calls me, us, to do is live for Him. completely. all or nothing. no fear, all faith.
i had been going through each day, believing i was giving my all. i studied. i prayed. i thought about God. i thought about others. i went to church. i was good. wasn't i?...
then as i read forgotten God and then read the irrestible revolution, and it caused me to study more and more, i have really felt a strong resolve to make my life HIS. and to pray for open eyes, open ears, open heart. i need Him and i need to stop doing life my way and stop quenching His Spirit with my sad excuses and pitiful attempts to do it myself.
i have prayed for His voice and His leading and no fear and all faith. i want doors opened and i am ready to go.
i have felt Him calling. me. us. our family. to something. somewhere? not sure. maybe? maybe He's calling me to simply be open to His calling. maybe He's wanting me to just be willing. i know He's working in me like never before. every day i look and listen. every day i want to know Him better, want to drown out the noise of this world.
suddenly nothing matters but pleasing Him. and it feels so good. it feels so right. and yet, believe me, it's not easy. but i have to say, it is peaceful.
loving your enemies...it's not easy.
loving those who hate you...not easy.
giving to the ungrateful...not easy.
keeping your thoughts on things above...not easy.
but living Spirit-filled...priceless.
living the great commands...priceless.
having peace that passes all understanding...priceless.
more on this. brain needs to reboot.