like a mustard seed...

shane claiborne's the irrestible revolution has a chapter about the mustard seed and the parables, and it got me thinking...

"...if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'move from here to there', and it will move. nothing will be impossible for you." matthew 17:20-21

faith...as small as a seed. a seed that starts small, but grows big. really big. and wild.

and you can tell mountains- big ugly everyday junk that gets in your way to move- and it will move.

nothing is impossible with faith like a mustard seed. wow.

even better....
"...the kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed which a man took and planted in his field. though it's the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches."

the kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed...a seed that starts small, but grows big. really big. and wild. and we are that kingdom.

that seed has to be planted in order to grow. have i been sowing lately? getting my hands dirty?

the birds even know where to go for food and shelter. didn't He promise that if He took care of the birds, He would care for us even more?

mustard seed faith...nothing is impossible.

let's start sowing.

among the thorns...

i was reading the parable of the farmer sowing seeds. i was invited to look at these verses with new eyes...

"...the seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced..." matthew 13:22

oh my. that is me.

but aren't we the seeds on the good soil? those verses say that we hear and understand God's word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times what was planted. (vs.23)

worries of this life...no money, illness, family and marriage issues, friendships, disasters, politics, etc etc etc...keep us from God. keep us from trusting. clutter our mind with what ifs...

the lure of wealth...wanting more money, feeling like we need more money, worry about having enough and saving enough...these things diminish our focus and faith on God. we can handle this. we need to save more, work more, get a better job, get more schooling...

if my mind is tied up in worries and wealth, then where is my heart? i'm so busy choking, there's no way i can grow and produce...in my faith. in my trust. in my love for God and others.

worries plus wealth equal no fruit. NO FRUIT.

i'm trying now to prepare my fields. it's time to plant. it's time to harvest.

no more thorns.

eyes unveiled...

this post may ramble. i have a lot on my mind.

ever since i read crazylove, i have had a whole different attitude. about life. about people. about me.

the spirit made me do it. and i am so so so grateful.

after reading the book, i dove into my bible. and i read verses that i have read many times in a whole new way. i believe through unveiled eyes. through His eyes.

i have been existing for Him. nice, but not enough. i realize that what He calls me, us, to do is live for Him. completely. all or nothing. no fear, all faith.

i had been going through each day, believing i was giving my all. i studied. i prayed. i thought about God. i thought about others. i went to church. i was good. wasn't i?...

then as i read forgotten God and then read the irrestible revolution, and it caused me to study more and more, i have really felt a strong resolve to make my life HIS. and to pray for open eyes, open ears, open heart. i need Him and i need to stop doing life my way and stop quenching His Spirit with my sad excuses and pitiful attempts to do it myself.

i have prayed for His voice and His leading and no fear and all faith. i want doors opened and i am ready to go.

i have felt Him calling. me. us. our family. to something. somewhere? not sure. maybe? maybe He's calling me to simply be open to His calling. maybe He's wanting me to just be willing. i know He's working in me like never before. every day i look and listen. every day i want to know Him better, want to drown out the noise of this world.

suddenly nothing matters but pleasing Him. and it feels so good. it feels so right. and yet, believe me, it's not easy. but i have to say, it is peaceful.

loving your enemies...it's not easy.
loving those who hate you...not easy.
giving to the ungrateful...not easy.
keeping your thoughts on things above...not easy.

but living Spirit-filled...priceless.
serving Him...priceless.
living the great commands...priceless.
having peace that passes all understanding...priceless.

more on this. brain needs to reboot.

soul clutter...

my soul has been heavy lately. i'm sure yours has been too.

it is so so difficult to read the news and not just want to reach through the screen and do something. my soul cries out to the people of haiti and i hurt so much for them. i feel like anything i do right now is just not enough. not enough... it feels like 9/11 all over again. that feeling of deep helplessness and disbelief...

i try to take comfort in the knowledge that our Father is there. He is there when i can't be. He hears their cries and ours.

pray. give. pray some more.

here's one of my favorite psalms, which we have hanging in our hallway near our bedrooms...

"i lift up my eyes to the mountains-
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip-
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

the Lord watches over you-
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

the Lord will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forvermore."

psalm 121~

in Him...

it's been a busy week.

but through it i have been trying to give Him space and voice, by breathing and listening and studying and praying. and it's brought great peace.

my God is so wonderful. i am thrilled with being in His presence.

what are you going do?...

...in 2010?

...sleep more?
...wake earlier?
...eat healthier?
...run further?
...travel farther?
...study harder?
...give irrationally?
...love unconditionally?

i dare you. try.

it can't hurt. it might even help.

"and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him>" Colossians 3:17

reading lit a fire...

i discovered the bloom book club a week ago. i went and purchased their first book...

crazy love by francis chan. and it was eye-opening.

God is awesome. really really awesome. and crazy-in-love with us.

i am lukewarm. i am serving Him leftovers.

the greatest commandments? to love God. to love others. every day. every way.

i desire to be in love and obsessed. i need to live for Him and nothing else.

you have to read this book. it will fire you up and motivate you to live for Him in a whole new way. the way that we need to...fully and wholly.

check out this article i found about the author at christianity today.

can you tell i'm excited? i can't wait to see what 2010 brings and what i can do for Him and others this year...

word of the year...

we have been studying peace in our life group. i decided to make it my focus for 2010. i have been purchasing ornaments to hang in my home as visual reminders.

there are so so many ways i do not show peace or feel peace. in my dealings with people...at work and at home. in my head thoughts...worried, anxious, fearful about illness, hurt, pain, death. place everything at christ eternal is the acronym i came up with for peace.

when i don't trust, i show a lack of faith. i show i that i want to be in control.

oh Lord, i know when you are in control, my life is what YOU want it to be, which is infinitely better than what i could ever come up with.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me...Peace I leave you; my peace I give you." John 14:1 & 27

the first day of 2010...

i spent today in my jammies...all day long. i think the last time i did this i was sick.

it was rainy and cold. coach sal was returning from helping our bro-in-law run a 12 hour marathon (bro-in-law ran 55+ miles) in north carolina. awesome way to start 2010!

we ate cinnamon rolls at noon. we read books, watched tv, and played games.

and now i'm blogging before bed.

i have a few things to share...